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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704610">Oh, Harsh</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeasonsofLauren/pseuds/SeasonsofLauren'>SeasonsofLauren</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coffee Shops, First Meetings, Flirting, M/M, Tinder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:34:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeasonsofLauren/pseuds/SeasonsofLauren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter’s had a bit of a dry streak.</p><p> </p><p>Or, to quote MJ, it’s been a fucking disappointment. Come on Peter, you’re a hot, young twenty four year old with a good job. You need to get laid!</p><p> </p><p>That conversation, along with half a bottle of rosé, is why Peter now has Tinder downloaded on his phone. He never really expected anything to come of it, what with him looking like an average white guy and having all of his photos picked by two of his exes and someone who has no attraction to his gender whatsoever - Ned did like to argue that he had a good aesthetic understanding though. Peter can’t say he hates any of the photos or the simple description - Bi, the nerdy kind who likes science and puns and thinks succulents are pets - but he’s just not all that interested.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker/Wade Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>189</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Oh, Harsh</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sorry I've been away for so long, but hopefully that won't be happening again any time soon! </p><p>I have way too many ideas compiled and outlined to go on such a long break, so you should be hearing from me again very soon!</p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter’s had a bit of a dry streak.</p><p> </p><p>Or, to quote MJ, <em>it’s been a fucking disappointment. Come on Peter, you’re a hot, young twenty four year old with a good job. You need to get laid!</em></p><p> </p><p>That conversation, along with half a bottle of rosé, is why Peter now has Tinder downloaded on his phone. He never really expected anything to come of it, what with him looking like an average white guy and having all of his photos picked by two of his exes and someone who has no attraction to his gender whatsoever - Ned did like to argue that he had a good aesthetic understanding though. Peter can’t say he hates any of the photos or the simple description - <em>Bi, the nerdy kind who likes science and puns and thinks succulents are pets</em> - but he’s just not all that interested.</p><p> </p><p>There is no excuse, however, for why he’s sitting in a coffee shop scrolling through said profile. Well, he has to wait another twenty minutes to get another life in Candy Crush and has already cycled through Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr three times. There’s really nothing else for him to do while he waits for Gwen to show up for their coffee date. It’s not her fault that a lead for her most recent case was a little more complicated than she expected.</p><p> </p><p>His Tinder feed is just a stream of people who are either looking to immediately get into a committed relationship, shirtless pics with no bio, or people looking to buy weed. The amount of shitty pick up lines is almost enough to sour Peter’s coffee, but then he pauses.</p><p> </p><p>A shirtless guy.</p><p> </p><p>Peter’s bored enough to decide to appreciate the goods before swiping left. It’s just a couple photos of clearly the same guy in different positions. In the first he’s lying on a bed shirtless with a sensuous tease of the v of his hips before the camera cuts off. The second is in a park with him in full jogger gear and a german shepherd panting at the camera. The third is from behind while he’s coloring with a little girl who is doing much better than he is. It has a lot more personality than the usual shirtless profile does, as most guys like that want the muscles to speak for themselves.</p><p> </p><p>The thing that caught Peter’s eye though is that not a single photo shows his face. The first photo cuts right off at his collarbone, but Peter can see some scarring spreading down from his neck and webbing across the top of his chest and one of his arms. It doesn’t take away from the sheer mass of this guy who looks like he could hold Peter up with one arm no problem. And god, the images that suggests.</p><p> </p><p>He gets extra brownie points because Peter actually snorts a little when he reads the bio underneath. <em>Not looking for anything serious. Just a husband or something.</em></p><p> </p><p>It’s not often that Peter gets a mixture of two of his Tinder categories. Peter thinks about it for a second before deciding, which is a whole second longer than it usually takes. The guy just doesn’t seem like his type though, not enough depth. Too bad for Wade, less than a mile away.</p><p> </p><p>Could have been a good time.</p><p> </p><p>Just as Peter swipes left, he hears a giggle from behind him and a voice follows. “Ooh, harsh. A big no for that guy, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>Out of sheer curiosity Peter turns around to see someone sitting at the table behind him, staring straight at him with a smile on his face. The guy has his hood pulled up over a snapback, obscuring his face but Peter can still make out some scars underneath the shadows. Peter furrows his brow, trying to recall the face or the voice but he just can’t place it. This stranger must understand the expression, because he gives a laugh so loud it gets the attention of the whole coffee shop.</p><p> </p><p>“Where ever are my manners? Let me introduce myself.” He extends his hand out with a warm smile that makes the corner of Peter’s mouth tick up. “My name is Wade and I’m not looking for anything serious. Just a husband or something.”</p>
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